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Conflict is neither good nor bad; it is simply part of our life whether we like it or not.  Conflict can act as a catalyst pushing us deeper one way or the other.  It can lead to an opportunity to transform things into something positive or it can blow things up and make a big mess.  If we follow the rules of a fair fight, we are much more likely to move conflict in a constructive direction. However, if it is a free for all, we might dig ourselves deeper into the mess.  It is up to us what we do with the conflict and how we choose to approach the inevitable conflicts that life will present.

I sat down at the computer ready to go.  The decision was made.  I knew my topic and all I needed to do was start writing.  I had begun to tell people I was going to write a book so I had better do it.  As I stared at the blank screen I started to question the wisdom of announcing my intention to write a book.  The idea sounded very cool and I must admit that I liked that people thought I had something to write about. However, the actual writing did not feel cool at all.  I had always valued follow-through.  I found myself annoyed with people who would make big announcements and then not follow-through.  I did not want to be one of those people who talked the talk but did not walk the walk.  “So write!  Get going!  ….oh, crap.”  Not a very literary or professional thought at all!  But that was the truth of my thought process.  My thoughts had moved from creative intentions to outright panic.

I had taken a weekend Mastermind Writers course that helped me outline my book.   I had the chapter titles and a synopsis but alas, no book.  The course had helped me tremendously although I had initially thought it was odd to be taking a writers course when I had not yet written anything.  On reflection it was the perfect thing to do because it helped me get my ideas straight before I got too deeply set in bad habits.  I actually loved the synopsis I wrote. It was smart, sharp, and no nonsense.  This was the type of book I wanted to write.  I wanted to avoid anything flaky and even hoped that some of my sense of humour would come through in my writings. “Where to start?  Where to start?  ….Oh crap!”  There it was again ….panic.

Once my interest in reading and writing was piqued there was no going back.  My life has been filled with a fascination for books and through my years of education, training, and accreditations there has been many opportunities to both read and write.  I am not going to pretend that all of those books and readings have been interesting, nor have I managed to retain all of the information that has crossed in front of my eyes, but my reading and writing through the years has built my knowledge base and deepened my love of words and ideas.

I still remember the grueling periods of reading the entire Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in grad school along with a plethora of other boring but required readings.  I do have a certain level of pride for actually having jumped through these hoops and to have passed my exams on these materials.  Of course I am deeply grateful for all the material that excited me, expanded my perspective and helped me build my knowledge base.   I now balance my reading with a variety of books that I choose to read which inform me, entertain me and enlighten me.

January is often referred to as the “divorce month” since it is the number one month in which parents decide to separate and tell their children about the marital separation.  Most parents do not want to put their children through the grief associated with “telling the kids” during the holiday season so they hold off on the big announcement until all the seasonal festivities are over.  This is one of the biggest and hardest “reality checks” for children and often a very sad time for families that are about to go through a major life transition.  Here are some helpful tips for parents so that they can be better prepared and lessen the negative impact that this decision and “the talk” can have on their children.

Now that the New Year has arrived and we have put the Christmas decorations away, it is time to plan how to move our vision to reality.  We do not have to overwhelm ourselves with an elaborate goal setting process, complete with a Martha Stewart vision board and a step by step list of how to achieve all of our goals over the next 12 months.  That would lead us down the dark road of perfectionism and limit our ability to live an exceptional life.  Actually, a bit of good old common sense is needed right now.  Once we have put some thought into our vision for the future, the next steps are to identify and evaluate our priorities and create a concrete plan to move forward in these areas.  In order to achieve this, I offer a simple and practical structure to get you going.